Marriage Negativity

Okay.  I know there are a lot of you out there who don’t like marriage.  I know there are some of you who think marriage is OK, but just not for you.  And then there is this strange new animal that has been showing up lately.  It shocks me too, but, there are people out there who are married, who don’t like or want to be married, or for whom marriage makes them miserable.

What the shit is that?

It comes up more and more often, and honestly it shocks me each time I hear someone say something about their miserable marriage.  If you don’t like the person you chose to marry, get out.  Sure, it’s expensive and messy – but if you’re miserable, you’ll only be miserable until you do something about it.  Isn’t your happiness worth something?

This whole rant has been boiling up inside me for a little while now, and it came to a head yesterday.  Master has switched his hours at work so that now he’s usually home an hour earlier than he was before.  This is great to me, because I get to see him more!  He does have to wake up a bit earlier, but we both love the extra time we have been able to spend together.  It’s wonderful.

While Master was at work, the subject of his new schedule came up between his co-workers.  Some of them were saying that I must be going crazy with Master being home earlier (wishing that work would keep him later), some of them felt sorry for me not having as much alone time.  Then, Master put them all in their place when he piped up:

“Actually, my wife likes being around me.  She’s always chomping at the bit for me to come home.”  (Of course, they may not know how literal that is some days, but I digress.)

Of course I actually like being around Master.  What on Earth is the point of going through the trouble of marriage, to just sit around and be upset about the person who you willingly chose to be with?  Sorry folks, I don’t get it.  If you’re not in love, or at the very least happy, why are you married?

This isn’t even the first time I’ve heard garbage like this.  I hear people whining about how unhappy they are with their other person all the time.  We go to the pool all the time, and we get complimented about how cute we are, and how loving, and how we’re a joy to watch together.  Out at restaurants and in public in general, people ask us if we’re newlyweds.  No, not anymore.

I’m not saying that you have to be all over each other.  I’m not saying you have to be sappy and romantic.  All I am asking is this:

If you go through your life always complaining about the person you married, why are you still together?  Convenience?  Money?  Children?  Sorry, but I don’t think that any of those are good reasons to stay together.

You can find ways to work out the money.  You can have visitation with your children, and just being lazy is never a good excuse for anything.

Take some pride in who you are, and know that you are worth more than being miserable.  Get off your butt and forge the life that will make you happy.  Or, at the very least, keep your negativity to yourself.  If you are choosing to be miserable and not do anything to be happy, then you can also choose not to spread around your negativity and malcontent.

/Rant

Tagged with 

8 thoughts on “Marriage Negativity

  1. I think the amount of time couples spend together depends on the couple. You guys are very much a 24-7 couple. Others may need a little more free time. Though I don’t see the point in staying married when you’re unhappy. I know for me, even though I feel left out with all my friends getting married, I don’t have any desire to get married right now, though who knows what I’ll want when/if I meet someone.

    • @Lucid Obsession I totally get that not all couples are as touchy-feely as Master and me are. However someone chooses to love is how they choose to love. However, if you’re miserable – I don’t see why you’d stay. That’s all.

  2. Fyremane Foxx says:

    theres one more side of the marriage discussion dear, one thats close to my heart.

    there are those of us the Law wont let marry, because we arent ‘NORMAL’ (icky word). I have been with my Wolf for 10 and a half years now, and i cant marry him. I would too, ive wanted to marry him for years, even before I Transitioned. Yet there are those out there that think it would ruin marrige if we had the right too do so, yet we arent the ones out the haveing kids with the housekeepers, and such.

    but i digress.

    *HUG*

    Fyre

    • Hey Fyre, That’s a who other topic, for sure! What shocks me more than anything are the people who have chosen marriage, are in one, and hate it. If you hate it so much, why are you there?

      I sympathize with you on the face that you’re not allowed to marry. :( That really, really sucks a lot. :( I know it is legal in many states, but I am sorry it isn’t in yours yet. I will keep my paws crossed for you that it happens in both our lifetimes. :)

  3. I love you for writing this, and I’ve had the same rant on many an occasion. I know married couples that are happy with seeing each other less often than what might be considered “normal” but if they’re still happy, that’s what matters. I’m glad you and your Master get to see more of each other, I love the days my husband gets home from work early if I’m not at my night job :)