Red Vinyl Kitty

I received an email from a reader asking me what aftercare is like for Master and me.  I hope this helps to answer your question.

Aftercare is the care given to a bottom (or sometimes a top) after a scene.  It can involve all sorts of things depending on who is playing, and what was just done.  For me and Master, aftercare rarely happens.  Part of what I need as his slave is to know that I have pleased him, or the person I’m playing with.  If I am playing with someone who isn’t really liberal with his or her “Good girl”, “You please me”, and other forms of “job well done” than for most forms of play all I need to hear is that I did a good job, and I pleased them.  Not every scene has to be full of praise, but after the most degrading and humiliating session, I do need to hear that I’ve done well.  For me, it needn’t take the top long.  It could be as simple as a pat on the head and a “Good girl”.  But, without that, I can honestly drop quickly into a depressive state.  I love humiliation and degradation, I love pain and marks and bruises..  But I need to know that the things I give are given from a place of consensual joy for us both.  If I think that my top or Master just beat the shit out of me, and he or she didn’t enjoy my submission..  Then in my mind, I have failed.  And, no matter how much pleasure I have gotten out of the session physically, I can’t stream it together mentally.

Lots of people enjoy snuggling after they play.  Not me.  Not in most circumstances, anyway.  If an orgasm was given, I definitely don’t want to be snuggled immediately afterwards.  However, if Master or another person I’m playing with wants it, I will of course oblige.  For me though, snuggling is something I like, but only out of the context of a scene.  Snuggling while watching a movie, cuddling up in bed, getting cozy while we play a video game.  OK.  Cuddles after sex? I’d really rather not.  I do not know why, but being touched after I cum makes my skin crawl.  I just abhor it.  If we were doing something non-orgasmic than it can be nice to snuggle up together.  For me, it just depends.  Master loves snuggling.  It doesn’t matter after what activity.  He just loves the touch.

If the scene was really long, Master will sometimes give me a snack and a drink.  He always keeps water nearby while we are playing, because he seems to think it keeps me going longer.  It’s been almost nine years.  He’s probably right.  I agree with him, though from my perspective, I do hate to constantly interrupt our play to go piss.

He gives me a blanket sometimes, if I’m cold.  I have an orange tigersquash blanket that Master gave me a long time ago when we were first dating.  That’s usually the one I get if I need one during aftercare.

So, aside from the rare snack, drink, and blanket (and we honestly don’t do those things that often.  I just don’t usually hit that point where I need those things) what else do we do for aftercare?

We take care of wounds.

If Master was cutting into me with knives of any sort, he’ll run over them with an alcohol swab.  As for bruises, I usually apply arnica to them on my own (just so long as I can reach them).  Cut up nipples get a sea-salt soak and then lanolin applied to them.  I usually take care of my nipples on my own though, and Master rarely cuts them himself.

Sometimes we will shower together, sometimes we shower alone.  We usually both check our email after we’re done playing.  I don’t know why, one of our weird foibles, I guess.

Taking care of Master after a scene usually involves even less aftercare than I need (or want) anymore.  Sometimes, if we’re going to be doing a long impact play scene, I will give him a sports massage pre-scene, and post scene.  Got to take care of his muscles after all, and I’m happy to do it for him whenever he asks.  Aside from that, Master rarely needs more than a drink of water if he’s been going at it for a long while.

So, that’s what aftercare is like for us.  Though, as I said, it can vary a lot depending on whether or not we’re playing with others, the type of play, and the physical state of our bodies after play.  I may need my blanket one day, or a snack the next.  I may jump up off the floor and run in circles.  Every scene, every day, every session is new and different, and there is no real “routine” for us personally.  Aftercare was definitely something we each needed more in the beginning of our relationship, but as time goes on, it winds up being less and less about emotional need, and more centered around physical injury or fatigue.

Tagged with 

4 thoughts on “Aftercare

  1. Great blog post, kitty! I’m always curious how other couples do aftercare. :)

  2. After 9 years, you probably experience less sub-drop when the scening is complete. So I’d assume that aftercare is less of a necessity for that reason…?

    • Sub drop is a different animal in my opinion. I absolutely do experience it to varying degrees, however, since I live with my Master and also since kink follows us out of the bedroom – sub-drop is typically less severe for me at this point. I tend to get sub-drop more often in one of these scenarios:

      1: A massive change in the amount of D/s I experience. (I.E. Going from a high protocol scene which lasts hours or days).

      Or 2: Going very deeply into sub-space and not having adequate time to recover. I.E. Having to “snap out of it” quickly for some reason.

      I think that after 9 years, we’re both just pretty good at adapting in most situations, though not all.