I have no clue why, but for some reason, whenever I meet kinky people either online or in person for the first time, they always ask this one inevitable question:
“What’s the worst thing your Master or partner has ever done to punish you?”
And, then, it’s usually followed with something along the lines of:
“Have you ever been tied and left in uncomfortable positions?” Or: “Has he left bruises on you as a punishment?” Etc, etc.
I have to admit, that this is one of the most annoying questions to me ever. I know that everyone does their kink differently, and most do it differently than us (though I know some out there have the same sort of dynamic, we’re not completely unique in this). But, the truth is, if you’re interested in my kinky escapades, you’re better off to ask me about the opposite of my punishments. Yep, the things that we do when I’m a good girl.
The way everyone does things is different, and that is what makes all of our kinks work well for each and every one of us. For us though, punishment is not something to be taken lightly, and it is not incorporated into sex. Punishment for me is something I truly hate. I don’t get orgasms. I’m not given sex or beatings. I’m not teased with vibrators or allowed to suck cock. Punishments are not a game to us. They are not used to enhance the bedroom (and if that works for you great, but it doesn’t work for us).
Why doesn’t Master do those things with me? You’d think it’d be obvious, but here it is:
If you give someone something good (orgasms, play they like, etc), then they are bound to do the incorrect action again. For us, punishments are there for a reason: to correct behaviour that Master doesn’t want me to repeat. They offer me no sexual or emotional pleasure, they give me no joy at all. With each punishment comes a deep sense of shame and anger, usually directed at myself.. Unless I truly feel I am being misunderstood, or that I did something wrong accidentally (which is exceedingly rare, and I can only think of a few times when this occured, usually by misunderstanding what my task at hand was).
I completely understand how pain and bruises and uncomfortable positions can make a person straighten up and fly right. But, I am a masochist.. Giving a pain slut pain is not going to discourage her bad behaviour, it will only encourage it.
If I want Master’s attention in a good way (biting, ropes, chains, bruises, cutting, cock, and more) then I have to be a good girl, because it is far easier to misbehave than it is to do as I am asked most of the time. It’s a lot easier to sit around and decide that I don’t feel like doing my chores, because I’d prefer a spanking instead. No, that sort of thing doesn’t work for us.
So, what does Master do to me if I’ve been really, truly bad?
For very minor transgressions he’ll squirt me in the face with a spray bottle of water. I hate having water on my face, I don’t even put my head underwater in the pool. This usually does a great job at deterring me, because I genuinely hate it.
There’s really only two other things that Master does to me for punishment.
He will lock me in a small room without any attention or electronic devices (such as the bathroom).
He will lock me in a small room without any lights without any attention or electronic devices (such as the bathroom).
I absolutely crave Master’s attention all the time. The absolute worst thing he can do to me, is deny me that attention. I don’t just mean play. I love playing with him, of course.. But honestly, even denying me his voice is so horrible to me. I would rather have him yelling and screaming and ranting and raging at me than to lock me up without any attention or love, or the sound of his voice. That horrible, deafening quiet is the absolutely worst thing he could ever do to me, or not do to me, truly.
If you want to know about the bruises he bestows upon me, or how he’ll make me squirm in uncomfortable positions, or how long he held out before letting me breathe… Don’t ask me about my punishments. Ask me about my good behaviour. Ask me what I did to earn my spankings. Ask me how I pleased Master.
To Master and me, far too much emphasis is placed on being bad and getting punished in general, in the community. I don’t understand why that is always one of the first questions to come up when meeting new, kinky people. I completely respect other’s choices and lifestyle preferences, but my punishments are not something I am ever proud of. Being punished means I have genuinely gone and upset Master by disobeying. Why would disobeying be something worth boasting about? If you ask me, I’d much rather tell you about the times that I was good, or helped Master, or did something I knew he wanted without being asked. I don’t take pleasure in making Master look bad, or feel bad – in public or in private. Why would I brag about it?