I’ve long been interested in blood play. Master stands somewhere in the middle on the subject. It isn’t as though he doesn’t want to do it, but blood itself can be a bit of a squick for him. He tells me that the reason why is because as a child, he had a problem with nosebleeds, and he swallowed so much blood sometimes he’d vomit. Apparently, his nose bleeds got so bad that he wound up needing to have his nose cauterised. Yuck. To this day, he gets a bit antsy if he sees blood.
Still, he’s been working on it slowly (very slowly, and there’s no rush, anyway). Sometimes now he even manages to fuck me while I’m on my period, if the period itself is light enough. I don’t blame him for not wanting to fuck me when my period is at its heaviest, only because that sort of thing is very messy. Sure, we sometimes have period sex in the shower, but I find shower sex to be on the mild side of hot. It’s fun, definitely, but can be awkward and doesn’t allow for as many beatings as sex outside the shower does. (It may be just me, but I find that the water sort of softens each blow as Master strikes me. Boo!)
Blood itself doesn’t squick me, though I completely admit that watching things like surgeries does, because seeing organs and things like that gross me out. Blood though? Nah. In fact, I used to work in a children’s toy store, and somehow I’d always be the one cleaning up the blood. I didn’t mind, but so many other people would just get squeemy. I don’t care whose blood it is, I just used gloves, and aside from that some red fluid just doesn’t bug me.
Sometimes Master will cut me a little bit with his finger knives, but never enough to scar or to really get a stream of blood going. I keep day dreaming about that. I want to be cut by him and his knives. I want to feel scared in a way that only knives can scare me. I want to feel completely unsafe, even though I know that I am.
This past weekend at Thunder, Master decided he wanted to go to a class on medical staples and cutting, and it totally surprised me. I was thrilled in a good way, and I’m looking forward to seeing what these classes do to help him and his little squickiness he has about blood. Master used to be too nervous to try breath play with me, and then he went to a class back before we moved, and then he chatted with people who knew who were into it, and now we do it all the time. I’m not saying it’ll be the same way this time, but it is cool that he’s being open and willing.
I have said it before and I’ll say it again: I am absolutely the luckiest kitty in the world. Master is so very willing to learn about all sorts of things which aren’t always his most sought after activity, and I am so grateful that he keeps an open mind and an open heart. <3