It’s funny actually. Master had come home from work, and I was just showering after my workout. When I got out, Master told me that if I wanted, I could sit and play Skyrim while he made dinner. (He loves to cook, and was planning on something really special that night). I told him thank you, but..
And then I started rambling off a list of chores:
“Thanks, but first I have to finish folding the laundry, and dusting the book shelf, and then I have to do the dishes, and rotate the laundry, and then I have to put two coats of polish on your boots, and then…”
Master busted out laughing.
I was taken aback and kind of upset because I absolutely despised be laughed at. Laughed with, okay, but at is something different.
“What’s so funny?”
“I just love how organized you are.”
Though I felt really bad still, because it still felt like he was laughing at me. Never mind that all those things are things he expects me to do anyway (and I do them gladly), but when he offers me a chance for a break if I’d like and I have too much to do, I usually turn him down. There are times when he tells me I need to relax, but now was not one of those times. It was clearly an offer to relax if I felt I’d like to.
What was really bizarre to me is that I never, ever see myself as organized. I feel like I’m often in chaos, even within my own personal schedule, and I feel like I never can really catch up all the way. Growing up, I was constantly lectured about how I was never organized enough (not that anyone would help me get organized. I just had to figure that one out for myself).
I guess as time has gone on though, I’ve grown up in a lot of ways. Thank goodness, I guess, because if I wasn’t then that’d just be sad. But I guess, without me really realizing it, I have become a lot more organized than I ever was before. I’ve also become less selfish, taking less time for breaks and instead worrying more about other people and what they need, versus what I want. I’d always been pretty helpful, but I took my selfish time as well. That’s really not an issue for me anymore, and it really hasn’t been for a while either.
As a side note: Master saw that I still felt a bit hurt from earlier, and after dinner he told me he really hadn’t meant to hurt my feelings, that he was proud of me, and that he was glad I was so dedicated to making his life easier by getting things done so he wouldn’t have to. I feel a lot better now.