Organized

It’s funny actually.  Master had come home from work, and I was just showering after my workout.  When I got out, Master told me that if I wanted, I could sit and play Skyrim while he made dinner.  (He loves to cook, and was planning on something really special that night).  I told him thank you, but..

And then I started rambling off a list of chores:

“Thanks, but first I have to finish folding the laundry, and dusting the book shelf, and then I have to do the dishes, and rotate the laundry, and then I have to put two coats of polish on your boots, and then…”

Master busted out laughing.

I was taken aback and kind of upset because I absolutely despised be laughed at.  Laughed with, okay, but at is something different.

“What’s so funny?”

“I just love how organized you are.”

“Oh.”

Though I felt really bad still, because it still felt like he was laughing at me.  Never mind that all those things are things he expects me to do anyway (and I do them gladly), but when he offers me a chance for a break if I’d like and I have too much to do, I usually turn him down.  There are times when he tells me I need to relax, but now was not one of those times.  It was clearly an offer to relax if I felt I’d like to.

What was really bizarre to me is that I never, ever see myself as organized.  I feel like I’m often in chaos, even within my own personal schedule, and I feel like I never can really catch up all the way.  Growing up, I was constantly lectured about how I was never organized enough (not that anyone would help me get organized.  I just had to figure that one out for myself).

I guess as time has gone on though, I’ve grown up in a lot of ways.  Thank goodness, I guess, because if I wasn’t then that’d just be sad.  But I guess, without me really realizing it, I have become a lot more organized than I ever was before.  I’ve also become less selfish, taking less time for breaks and instead worrying more about other people and what they need, versus what I want.  I’d always been pretty helpful, but I took my selfish time as well.  That’s really not an issue for me anymore, and it really hasn’t been for a while either.

As a side note:  Master saw that I still felt a bit hurt from earlier, and after dinner he told me he really hadn’t meant to hurt my feelings, that he was proud of me, and that he was glad I was so dedicated to making his life easier by getting things done so he wouldn’t have to.  I feel a lot better now.

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