My jaw tightens against bright red ball
Drool pooling in humiliating drips
Chest tightening – not with pain
My stomach is invisible to me
as sharp metal spikes I can’t see spank my flesh
I can’t feel the welts or blood.
I am floating..
I am free.
You pull me back and tears flow.
I can’t gasp through my gag, but I breathe heavily,
Fighting the tears
Struggling for air
The sting on pained thighs breathes comfort to me.
“Let it out.”
I can’t hold back any longer.
And I’m falling…
Your hand caresses the tears out of me, with each sharp blow
Untraditional, but soothing.
This is right.
You wrap me in your love
Hold me in your heart
And, I am joy.
Tomorrow will be different.
Tomorrow I will hold my head higher
My stride steadier
My heart fuller
Within my terror I find myself.
Within your grasp, I am only enhanced.