You know how, sometimes, you just don’t notice yourself slipping at all? It can’t be just me. I especially notice it happens a lot to those of us who chose subservient lifestyles. You take care of your Master, or Mistress, etc, and then you don’t notice that you yourself could use some sleep. It has kind of been like that for me, for about the last week.
I have had a strict bed time schedule for a couple years now. While Master is sometimes a little bit lax with it, (like, if we’re on Vacation, or if I am seriously injured, etc), for the most part he puts me to bed at 10PM. Lately, with him working later and later hours, there have been times when I have not been in bed until ten thirty or eleven. I’m not really sure if that’s contributing to my recent bout of insomnia, or if it has honestly just been that I’ve felt a bit overloaded with things that need to be done, and under-loaded (I probably made that word up) with down-time. Anyway, the last week or so I have found myself going to bed when Master tells me, but I am wide awake, and I toss and I turn to try to get myself comfortable. I never seem to get comfortable, but for the most part, I fell asleep by three or four AM, and was awake by eight AM. Seems reasonable.
I noticed that I was feeling a little off, but didn’t really think my sleep had anything to do with it. Master lets me sleep in as late as I’d like most days, so when my body was getting me out of bed at eight AM, I just figured maybe I was learning to subsist on less sleep. Right. Then, Wednesday after lunch, I totally fell asleep without realizing it, and woke up an hour later, feeling more exhausted than before I fell asleep. Whoops! I kept myself awake since it was very early in the day, and then when Master came home, I took a half pill of melatonin and drifted off to sleep. Before I went to bed though, Master told me that he wanted me to be sure that I took the following day to rest. He almost never does that. An entire day off of all chores is something that doesn’t happen very much at all, and if he tells me to do it then I do it. It means that I am more exhausted than I think.
And so I did. I slept in until ten AM. I took a long, luxurious bubble bath, I dickered around online. I constantly reminded myself not to do chores, work, or to clean. It was hard! Admittedly though, my eyes still felt a bit tired, and when I reminded myself, I didn’t feel too guilty about things. I just want to make Master happy and well taken care of, and I sometimes forget (like a lot of us do, I think) that in order to take care of someone else, you have to first take care of yourself. Count me as grateful that Master realizes it, too. Count me as double grateful for being able to rest, even for a day.