Online Dating

There are so many websites out there which are geared at helping you find your mate.  As a teen, I remember joining a couple of these looking for both friends and lovers.  I have never had any really bad experiences with any of these casual dating websites, and it bothers me that so many people have such a narrow point of view.

One of the many reasons why people are so nervous about online dating and xxx dating websites is simply because of the unknown factor.  For one, when dating online, “you never know who you are talking to.”  True, that could be grandma on the other end of the computer, and she could be claiming to be a hot, hunky guy who is into the same thing that you’re into.  But, the same can be said for dating in “real life” places.  Just because you met some guy or gal in a bar does not mean that they are who they say they are.  The biggest fear people seem to have with online dating is that the person you’re chatting with could be dangerous.  Well, the person you are chatting with in a bar could be equally dangerous.  Just because someone seems nice on the outside doesn’t mean they are.  The opposite is true as well.

Another reason why people are so hesitant to try online dating is because they figure that it’s too expensive or complicated to figure out the website.  There are so many websites nowadays which are free and or easy to use though, and it’s just a matter of doing a little Google search and finding what works for you.

I met my Master online, actually.  I’ve also made a lot of great friendships through either dating websites or social media in general, and many of those people I have gone on to meet in person and develop friendships or “playmateships” as well.

I know a lot of people see Internet dating as uncertain and dangerous, but a lot of things we do in life are, too.  And, like a lot of things you do in life, I think it is important to take precautions.  For one, always meet in a public place and take some time to get to know the person you’re spending time with.  Meeting up for coffee has been a great for both Master and me.  Sure, you can’t learn everything you want to know about a person just from a couple of simple coffee dates – but if either Master or me get a bad vibe from someone, then at least we have figured that out while we’re in a public place, rather than going through the trouble of playing right away and figuring out “ugh, this was a bad decision”.

Once you have gone through the trouble of having a coffee date or two and you have decided you want to meet in a more private setting, a safe call is your best friend.  What is a safe call?  Basically, you set up a time with a friend you trust and have them call you.  If you do not answer your phone, then they are to call the police and come to your rescue.  In order for this to work, you absolutely have to make sure that you have access to your phone, and you don’t put it down just because things are going fine and dandy.  You don’t want the police showing up without reason!  I personally see a safe call as something that is incredibly important, and should be done at least the first few times you meet up with a new person on your own, whether or not you intend to sleep with them.  It may seem like a hassle, but can really set your mind at ease too.  The person you are planning to meet with has a problem with a safe call?  Red flag for me and Master.

I’m not saying online dating is without some risk, it is impossible to guarantee you are going to be 100% safe 100% of the time.  Still, even meeting someone by other means can be risky.  There is no one right way, and I think that a mix of both styles of dating is the best approach.  Neither is without its flaws, and the rewards and possibilities are endless.

What do you think?  Have you ever dated anyone you met online?  Do you think online dating is much more dangerous that meeting people face to face the first time?  I wanna know.

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4 thoughts on “Online Dating

  1. Well I met my current lover on Fetlife. I know my story may be a rare one, but after chatting online for about 2 months, we finally met. The attraction was immediate! And yes we then went off to somewhere private and played. We have now been together a few more times in fact just last night we were. And in another day I will see him again! MMMMMM!

    • @ JoyceC I don’t think your story is that rare, really. I have heard about 50/50 stories from both sides. A lot of friends (both online and off) have gone to meet a partner without so much as a safecall, and half the time is goes really well (like for you), and half the time it goes really badly. I’m glad that yours went well and I am glad you’re excited for another meeting! :)

  2. I met my Sir online as well – on BDSMsingles.com ( I didn’t know of Fetlife yet).

    We chatted back and forth for about a month, and then began dating conventionally as we build a D/s relationship.

    • @Lea It was similar with Master and me. :) Though, we met on GothicPersonals.com