Swimming Breakdown Part 2

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Last night, Master took me to the pool..  To practice rotary breathing.  I did not want to go.  I was feeling very awful and like I really don’t want to try anymore, but Master wants me to swim, and I want to please him – so I donned my swim suit, and we went to the rec center.

As this doesn’t count as a workout for me at the moment, Master wasn’t getting a workout there either.  He jumped into the swim lanes, and he did not rush me.  He had me do bobs (bouncing up and down in the water, making sure to get the top of your head wet, and popping out of the water to breathe), and then he had me hold onto the wall and practice rotary breathing.  God, I felt so stupid.  We were in the only free swim lane, and on my left, there were three lanes of high schoolers who were members of the swim team.  They were swimming at speed all the way down and back, three or four swimmers to a lane.  Not only that, but they were doing the rotary breathing perfectly.  On my right, were a bunch of young kids, less than ten years old, and they were learning rotary breathing too.  They kept staring at me, and some of the children were diving under to watch me.  I could see them because I was wearing my goggles.

“I feel stupid.”  I told Master.

“Just do it, Kitty.”

I sighed.  I held on to the wall, and I practiced breathing and lifting an arm out of the water.  After I “mastered” that (it’s not super hard if you hold onto a wall, I mean, I was standing up straight in three foot deep water), Master gave me a kick board, and we started a very slow, fiddly crawl down the length of the lane.

::Sigh::

I choked, and coughed, and swallowed so much water.  But, Master was very encouraging, and I felt very happy to have him swimming right beside me.  I was still embarrassed.  I think it took me about thirty minutes to go down and back along the lane a total of three times each direction.  But, I kept having to stop because I was choking, etc.  I’m sure I will get this eventually, but in the meantime, Master swimming with me and helping me with technique is a very welcome thing.  I don’t feel so alone, or hopeless when he is right there. 

The last set of laps we did, Master told me to forget about the breathing, and just practice my flutter kicks.

“Do you know why I want you to practice your flutter kicks, Kitty?”

“I don’t know.”

“Because you look so cute with the kick board.”

Ha!  I’m so lucky he loves me.  =^.~=

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6 thoughts on “Swimming Breakdown Part 2

  1. It’s hard, but you can do it. Keep working, hon.

    I remember when MM used to make me kill spiders (he used to kill them himself when I would scream) to get over my phobia of them. OMG, I was terrified. Once I was standing on his back, while he crouched down (weird position for a Subbie) so I could reach the spider on the ceiling. Scared as hell, I was shaking and crying. But, I did it.

    It’s a lot better now. I’ll not say I’m OVER my fears, but I can now kill spiders and other bugs and even WASPS with only some anxiety, not paralyzing fear I used to have.

    They make us do it because they love us and want us to do better.

    Good luck hon. I know you can do this.

    • @P’Gell Oh no! I can only imagine how scared you were to start with! ::shivers:: But I am very, very glad that it helped you to be able to kill spiders. :)

      I know you’re right and there is a good reason Master is making me do this, I’m just hoping that I get there soon. :)

  2. You will, I know you trust him to do what’s best for you. I was so MAD when he wouldn’t kill the spiders and made me do it, but I feel a LOT more independent (especially since I would shut doors, shaking and wait for him to get home to kill a bug before)

    He knew it was best for me and he was right. He must have known it wasn’t a Hard Limit, although I thought it was.

    It’s hard sometimes, though.

    You’ll do it, I know you can. :)

    • @P’Gell Oh my goodness, you have no idea how much I can relate to this. Last year we had wasps in our apartment. IN OUR APARTMENT! >.< It was terrible, and it took forever for management to do anything about it. I was so scared. I'd do exactly as you're talking about and I would curl up in a ball until Master got home to kill the damned thing. :( Awful. I am glad that you're doing better with the buggies though. :) It's great to know that you can overcome things like that, even if you're really scared.

  3. i love how you really stuck with this. i realize that your Master didn’t give you much of a choice in the matter but really, your resolve to please him and learn to swim is so wonderful kitty, you should be proud of yourself. i bet he was right, i can’t imagine just how cute you looked!!! hehehe!!
    ::hugggs:: xoxox

    • Thanks @treasure You’re right, I don’t have much choice in the matter, but I am glad Master is pushing me. I’m sure I’ll get it eventually, but in the meantime, I am not loving it. >.< Ha ha. I'll get there though. ::hugs::