The weekend went pretty well, though the Internet has been dropping out constantly over here since last Thursday or so. We called the Internet company, and they first said there would be someone out to fix it Friday, then Sunday, and then Monday. In their defense, the actual issue at hand isn’t their fault, because it happened due to a severe storm. Now the thingamajig that connects the Internet to the entire apartment complex is screwed, and it is up to them to replace it. But in the meantime, I’ll have the Internet for a few hours, and then it’ll drop for eight to ten hours. Fun, yes? It actually would not be so bad, except that our phone works through the Internet, so if the Internet goes out, we’re sort of like stranded ducks here with no way to dial out. Not cool. We had a reasonably good weekend anyway though. We went to the rec center to swim a lot, and you don’t need the Internet to have play time, thankfully. ;)
I also got a phone call from my brother, which I didn’t expect. He wanted to make sure there was something for me to eat at his wedding, which was really cordial of him. REALLY cordial. Especially since he has always gone on about how ridiculous my food is, etc. I mean, whenever I see my family, I’m on my own when it comes to cooking. Whenever I go anywhere else, even Master’s family, they at least usually throw a baked potato on, or make me some spaghetti. I’m not vegan or even vegetarian, but I rarely eat meat, and I only occasionally partake in dairy, so it’s really sweet of my brother to be so helpful. I mean, he has never once been this helpful, so I was kind of shocked by the whole thing. Score one for team Kitty. At least I know I won’t starve at the wedding, now.
The biggest let down of the weekend though, was my swimming 101 class. I was majorly disappointed. When I arrived at the class, there were two instructors, and they asked me what my swimming level was. I said that I had just passed Water Comfort class (true), and so, when they divided the class up in terms of beginners VS. advanced students, they put me in with the beginners. I was fine with this, because I figured that we would just be going at a slower pace than the advanced group, and I honestly had no clue what the “advanced” group would be getting up to. So, we finally get in the water, and the instructor has us.. Blowing bubbles and holding onto the side.
I mean, maybe I did undersell myself, without realizing it. Master said I should have told them I had a basic knowledge of swimming, and was ready to learn strokes, etc. Looking over, I kept seeing the “advanced” group learning all the things I wanted to learn, like Rotary Breathing, and strokes. And I was really disappointed, because I was still swimming with people who didn’t know how to tread water or feel comfortable jumping in.
I guess I didn’t realize how far I have come in only about six weeks. I mean, the fear is still there, maybe it always will be. I still get the willies when I swim, but I do feel like I have a lot more confidence, after doing Water Comfort. Swimming 101 was just so disappointing. I had thought I would be learning new things, but I didn’t. I really should have been in the advanced group – not with the people who are still learning to tread water. -.- And don’t misunderstand me, I don’t have any bad thoughts for those who aren’t good in the water. Hell, I don’t really feel like I am “good” in the water. I just was ready for a challenge. On the way out of swim class, the instructor was all “Oh, you did so well! Now you all have things to practice!”
I HAVE BEEN PRACTISING THOSE THINGS FOR THE LAST SIX WEEKS ALREADY.
The worst bit is, that this isn’t really about the swim class at all. This is about my inability to stand up for myself and ask for something I need. I mean, in most contexts I am great at standing up for myself, etc. But, I don’t want to be the one in a group situation who is saying things like “I really am way more advanced than the people you’re putting me in with, please can I be put in the advanced group.” Because I can’t seem to think of a way to say that without sounding cocky as fuck, and I don’t want my “team mates” to think that I think I’m better than them. (I don’t think I’m above anyone, I just think I have the skills we were learning down cold). It’s just that, in a class environment, like the one we’re in, there’s really no good way to ask to be put with the advanced group, I don’t think. Master says that if I don’t learn any new skills in this coming class on Saturday, then I either need to speak up, or we have to call and have me pulled from the class, and we’ll try again in the next session they have.
I was just so mad at myself, that I didn’t say anything when I was told to do things like “Hold onto the side, we’re going to the deep end!” I’m really, really okay not holding onto the side and “train-crawling” myself down. So, I guess I gotta say something. I just don’t wanna.