5-1-2014

you hit like a bitch

Well, I am leaps and bounds better than I was in my last post.  No more sunglasses, which is almost a shame, because Master and me kept giggling about how cool I looked in them.  LOL!  Master liked the picture I put in my last post so much he made it his background on his computer.  Though, being my Master, I guess he is a little biased, huh?

So, I can see well (still getting little blobs missing from my vision now and again, but nothing I can’t tolerate), the tingling and numbness is 90% gone, so it’s tolerable, and the shaking is down to a bare minimum.  I still feel like my legs and hands are shaky, but I really only notice the shaking in my hands now when I am sewing, so with luck that will go away if I keep trying to eat a bunch of high potassium foods.

Life without my medicine for the POTS has become very, very difficult.  No two days are the same.  One day I will be okay, but unable to do anything strenuous, and the next day I will be unable to even sit up no matter what I do.  I cannot go anywhere that requires standing for more than five minutes without a wheelchair.  When I got really sick last year I was unable to even sit up at all for several weeks.  I am trying to remind myself that without the medicine, I am doing so much better than I was then, but it’s tough.  It’s a slow recovery for a weird disease that will never completely go away no matter what I do.  I know that POTS can be managed, I have gotten it under control before, but it’s one of those things that as soon as you spend one minute not paying full attention BAM you’re down for the count again.  I have lost nearly a year of my life to a combination of POTS and anemia, and it is really hard for it not to get you down sometimes.  I am trying to focus on the good stuff though.

My surgery is coming up in two weeks.  I have pre-op on Tuesday.  I really hope my potassium is high enough for surgery, and that all my other electrolytes are in check too.  I really do not want to postpone the surgery for a single day longer than I need to.  I am ready to start getting better.

While things have been somewhat depressing for various and sundry reasons (see above) they haven’t been completely miserable.  Serving Master on a level outside of bedroom stuff is very hard right now, but I do what I can as often as I can.  I’m not the well-oiled domestikitty I was before, but Master has been having me take things extra easy on purpose.  (And because I’m fainting constantly, which is pretty balls).

One thing that has been fun, though is just bedroom related, is that Master has been spending a lot more time on my ass lately.  I like anal a lot, and while Master does like it too, it’s something he definitely needs to be in the mood for.  Meaning, he has a whole lot of other things that turn him and anal is more a passing like than an appetite he has.  It’s not a huge deal for me, because when he’s into it I get it plenty, and he does seem to be in an anal mood right now.  =^^=  I have been enjoying this immensely.

So, really trying to focus on the little things right now.  Things are not as bad as they were and even if I’ve taken three or four massive steps back, I know I will come back from this stronger than before.  It’s just going to take some time.

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4 thoughts on “5-1-2014

  1. big hugs for you Kitty, I have my fingers crossed that everything is on track for the op.
    Also, yay for anal! :D