Recently, the awesome people over at GoodVibes, offered me the chance to try out the Club Vibe by Oh Mi Bod. What? I get to try out a toy which I can wear discreetly under my clothes in public, and which is designed to react to the environmental sounds around me, so I could get off without anyone knowing? Yes! Sign me up!
The Club Vibe arrived really quickly, and packed perfectly in a cute little box.
The club vibe required two AAA batteries, which are included, and something else was included which I didn’t expect at all! A free panty!
The free panty comes in that adorable velvet bag which is approximately 3X5 inches, so it is smaller than it looks on your screen. Ah, back to the panty. The panty is labeled as “One size fits all”, but that’s probably wrong. (As per usual with one size things!) It fits me perfectly, so I got lucky. My measurements are: 34″ waist, and a 40″ hip. If you’re bigger than that, you’re not going to fit into the panty, but that may not be a big deal as I’m about to explain.
The purpose of the free panty, is to give you a place to put your vibe so it stays in place when going out. The pink part of the vibe is 1.5″ long, and 3/4″ in diameter. You slide the pink end into the panties. There is a little pouch at the bottom of the panty which holds the vibe in place. This presented a problem for me. When I slid the toy into my panties, it slid all the way to the back of the panty and vibrated over my vaginal opening, instead of my clit where the toy would have been a lot better used. Before I left the house, I tried to adjust the toy so that it would be touching my clit, but after walking around outside, it slid back down towards my vaginal opening again.
I decided to test this toy at first using Master’s Ipod. He picked out a song, I held the toy over my clitoris, and just relaxed a bit while I waited for the fun to begin. No such fun began. The toy pretty much jumped right up to it’s highest setting and stayed there. No “buzzing to the beat” like it mentioned. Kind of disappointing. After that, I decided to try its seven speeds.
Speed #1 is a very low buzz.
Speed #2 is a medium buzz.
Speed #3 is the highest buzz the toy has, and all of the beginning three speeds are just a single, straight buzz. No variation, and nothing too exciting.
Speed #4 is a sensation of fast high pulses, which I found to be very enjoyable, but only for short durations.
Speed #5 is a variation of low, medium, high, and INSANE pulses. I liked this setting a lot.
Speed #6 goes: long low buzz, a medium buzz, then two fast strong pulses.
Speed #7 is a really long low buzz, followed by a medium buzz, a high buzz, two low pulses, and then gradually it goes back down to low, and starts again.
I found most of the settings to be fun, but I have to switch them around a lot because I got bored with each of them kind of easily. The toy itself is not exactly the strongest toy I’ve tried, and I found that the low was barely discernible for me.
After trying out the toy at home, I decided I was ready to use it out in public! Let the fun begin! (Or, so I thought!). I waited for a friday night grocery store trip. I reasoned that the toy would be able to pick up all the noises going on in the grocery store, with its ambiant setting. I set it to ambiant, and walked down to the car with the toy on, under my clothes. Not even Master knew I was wearing it. At first.
Rolling out of the parking lot where I live, the only sound that the ambient mode picked up was when we went over speed bumps. I’d get a pretty high, pretty quick blast of vibrations going on, and then it would stop. Nothing too exciting. Master and me chatted and talked all the way to the grocery store, but it didn’t pick up anything.
We got to the first grocery store, walked around a bit, picked up some things, and I didn’t get a single buzz at ALL while we were there. Nothing. When we got back to the car, I told Master I was wearing it, and he got really excited. Grinned like a school boy, and started talking really loudly.
“KITTY! LET’S PICK UP SOME CORN FOR DINNER TONIGHT!’
“LMAO! Yeah, um.. That’s not working either.”
I’m sad to say that even at the second store, nothing went on with this toy. Not a peep out of it until we got home and rolled over the speed bumps again. Kind of disappointing. Another thing about this toy which really, really made it hard to keep the toy discreet in my opinion was that the battery pack had a tendency to slip off. Yeah, you heard me right. I would be happily walking along, when the control section of the toy would just fall from my waist, and the battery cover to to clip this to your pants would still be firmly attached to my pants. Great. The clip stays attached, but I have to explain to anyone watching that my AHEM “pager” is having issues today. *Facepalm*. Yeah, NOT discreet. I think they could have done a much better job of securing this toy to your waist.
I thought the toy was fun, but not outside of the house. If you’re not going to fit into the panty, but you’re interested in trying a cute little toy which has several speeds, I say go for it. If you’re buying this toy for some discreet fun out on the town, I say, don’t bother. This toy is just not worth it for that purpose.
One bonus to this toy though, is that it is easy to clean. It is made from hard plastic, with a soft polyurethane coating. Just wash it off with mild soapy water but be careful! The toy is not waterproof, so you’re probably better off to use a damp washcloth or paper towel. This isn’t a toy I would personally share, since you can’t submerge it. Putting a condom over it would definitely not work though, because you would need to then CRAM it into the panty pouch, and it would be bunchy and not fun.
All in all, I’d have to give the Club Vibe a sad 2 out of 5 paws. Unfortunately, the toy just didn’t live up to its claims for me. Not only do I find it unusable in public, but I really only enjoyed the preset settings, and still couldn’t get an orgasm from this toy. Sorry Oh Mi Bod!
Thank you GoodVibes for giving me the chance to try this toy in exchange for an honest and fair review. =^.^=